Formal Letter of Introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
First and foremost, I would like to take this time to formally introduce myself. My name is Lim Bing Quan. I am currently pursuing a degree in Telematics (Intelligent Transportation Systems engineering) . I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic in 2015, with a Diploma in Electronic & Computer engineering, with a minor in business management. During my course of study, I picked up on various skills including programming with c++ and java, electrical technology, all which are actually very relevant in telematics. I also gained business management skills like marketing and fundamental stock market investment skills.
One of my strengths is that I am a team player. I work very well in a group or team as compared to working alone. This hones my skills of thinking creatively and constructively to be able to be adept and stay democratically fair to the opinions of any team member.
However, I do think I am more proficient with non-verbal communication than verbal communication. Writing or typing reports or letters are in turn much easier for me to get my message across as compared to speaking or presenting. So I do wish that, through your guidance, I will be able to pick up on more verbal skills and knowledge to upgrade and make me a better team player in the future.
Thank you and I eminently look forward to learning more from you.
Best regards,
Lim Bing Quan
TLM 1010 Grp 3
First and foremost, I would like to take this time to formally introduce myself. My name is Lim Bing Quan. I am currently pursuing a degree in Telematics (Intelligent Transportation Systems engineering) . I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic in 2015, with a Diploma in Electronic & Computer engineering, with a minor in business management. During my course of study, I picked up on various skills including programming with c++ and java, electrical technology, all which are actually very relevant in telematics. I also gained business management skills like marketing and fundamental stock market investment skills.
One of my strengths is that I am a team player. I work very well in a group or team as compared to working alone. This hones my skills of thinking creatively and constructively to be able to be adept and stay democratically fair to the opinions of any team member.
However, I do think I am more proficient with non-verbal communication than verbal communication. Writing or typing reports or letters are in turn much easier for me to get my message across as compared to speaking or presenting. So I do wish that, through your guidance, I will be able to pick up on more verbal skills and knowledge to upgrade and make me a better team player in the future.
Thank you and I eminently look forward to learning more from you.
Best regards,
Lim Bing Quan
TLM 1010 Grp 3
Hello Bing Quan,
ReplyDeleteI just have 2 comments:
1) The use of your first sentence "First and foremost, i would like to...." is conversational.
2) For the weakness you have pointed out, you did not elaborate on it thus i didn't get a full picture on why is verbal communication a weakness.
Best Regards,
Liao Jungui Isaac
Dear Bing Quan,
ReplyDeleteThanks for this initial intro. You give lots of clear detail on your educational background. In the second and third paragraphs, however, your discussion is less clear. Initially you describe your strengths.
I agree with Isaac that you don't elaborate well on your weakness. In fact, issues seems to be mixed up with you stating that while you're already a good team player, you feel you need an 'upgrade.'
Regarding language use, there are also a few minor problems:
1) to be able to be adept >>> (wrong word) ?
2) This hones my skills of thinking creatively and constructively to be able to be adept and stay democratically fair to the opinions of any team member. >>> (sentence structure)
3) overuse of capitalization throughout the first paragraph
I appreciate your hard work.
Brad
Dear Brad,
DeleteThank you for your feedback on my letter. I do realize I did not elaborate well enough on my weaknesses, or lack thereof. With regards to the mix-up, I meant that even though I'm a good team player, there is always room for improvement, room to be better than I am or was. My recurring mistake in letter writing has to be the over-usage of capitalization, as I was always been told to capitalize important terms or names. It will be a habit that I have to get rid of soon.
Thank you for the feedback once again!
Best regards,
Bing Quan